Whoremones

For the life of me I cannot determine why all college students look older than I do, though in fact I'm at least a year older than the average collegiate senior. They're taller, hairier, brawnier, and cursed/blessed with more skin creases (that then develop into wrinkles later in life). I've since determined that since I was a young laddy, I've generally eaten low quantities of meats, dairy products, and, to some degree eggs. These foodstuffs have consequently the highest steroid content, and as such would activate all the glands and growth patterns consistent with hormone replacement in post-menopausal women and frequenters of BALCO. Now it's possible I just don't look my age based on a number of other factors, including my lack of professional dress, but I feel comfortable with the notion that all these fraternity boys are bound to early graves due to their fondness of Micky D's.

Local produce finder

I made an app on Pipes that finds local produce. It's not perfect, but it will help you get started. Enjoy!

http://pipes.yahoo.com/pipes/pipe.info?_id=qNsdQPVU3BG0YO3jBx2yXQ



NVRmind that though. heres a really good one:

http://www.foodroutes.org/localfood/index.jsp

Primitive or working on a grand plan?

I've been reading a lot about Dasypodidae recently mostly because I'm lonely and too fond of mescal. Armadillos, as they're known in lay circles, are far too primitive for their own good. It has been presumed that these placental mammals weren't able to escape the time warp of evolution, and have been forced to live a most pathetic existence as constant fodder for the wheeled demons of American roadways. In the South, if you do not see an armadillo obliterated during your commute, smashed such that even the most skilled forensic mammalogist wouldn't be able to identify the hide nor hair, well then you've been drinking too much moonshine.

But not one of the 20 species in the family is endangered, or even sensitive in the case of North America. They flock to asphalt as if it's 'dillo-nip, are subsequently annhilated, and yet they still keep procreating without hindrance.

There is clearly something in the water, as there always is in the South. I suspect that there's something afoot with these half-blind, short-legged, reptillian-looking monstrosities, and it can only be explained by illegal immigration.

Yes, it is true, the Mexicans are bringing in armadillos because they know that these beasties will destroy the suspension units of AMERICAN-made cars. Has a Toyota, Honda, or any other rice- or cabbage-burning foreign car had its alignment thrown out by a disembowled armadillo? See for yourself. This is exactly what the most esteemed scientists in the field are studying, and so far the results are not pretty. Fords, Chevys, and GMC's are being taken for a ride by the wetbacks, and this time it's not through the use of clever tactics like lacing Taco Bell products with highly addictive marijuana or encouraging our children to take siestas during the school day so that their their ninos learn differential equations, C++, and Tolstoy whilst everyone else is fast asleep on their mat, which, by the way, is probably the perfect vector for Mexican typhus.

I'm on to the beaners, and I hope that all of you erudite readers will assist me in hunting down every single Mexican in the swamps and mangroves of the former Confederate States of America. God bless.

Lifetime warranty

I have a pair of nice headphones, worth 70 bucks or so, that I got brand new for 6. How? I found a broken pair in the junk bin of a garage sale, sent them in with the cost of postage and got a brand new pair a few weeks later.

So, browse the Google results for "lifetime warranty" and commit to memory whatever brands strike your fancy. You can let serendipity do the rest.

Mr. Clean: Sex Symbol or Hag Fag?

Thanks Wikipedia

So it could be that Mr. Clean is one of the few and early examples of using sex to sell commercial products to women? I figure that its either that or her is the 'trusted gay advisor'.

The earing is on the left and has been since the beginning, but how are 50's ad execs supposed to know conventions like that?

Either way, he's on territory that not many other folks have ventured. How else are men used to sell to women?