I am Either Above or Below the Golden Rule

I've recently determined that I should not use the Golden Rule, 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you', in determining the appropriateness of my social interactions. The problem comes because I interact with people who have different boundaries and standards than me, and things that I wouldn't mind others doing unto me are often things that others would not do or want done to them. It also happens the other way around, I might percieve that someone violated the Golden Rule in interacting with me when really they were working within their bounds. So, because most of my interactions are with people who have very different boundaries than me, the Golden Rule is not so helpful in determining what is right. If most of the people you deal with are similar to you, then the Rule still works.

As far as replacing it, it has always been just one of many heuristics I use in guiding my interactions, but I have toyed with versions like 'Do unto others as they do unto themselves', hopefully I won't get backed into the informationless 'Do unto others as they would have you do unto them'