Tearing it up

The University of Florida is often engaged with fascinating research, some of it appealing to residents of the "Athens of America" like Frey et al, but most of it is entirely abstruse. In many ways this is why I choose to conduct my research here, knowing full well that unless I derive a precise formula for a hook-and-lateral pass my chances at éclat are doomed.

Take, for instance, news that crocodile and alligator tears are shed during some good ol' noshing. It is incredible that this measure of research even registers on the University's propaganda page, or that news of its journal publication would still be played on the radio two and a half weeks after its intial press release.

But you see, the alligator is a totalizing force like none other I have come to know.

Here are a few other press releases that I have come across and viewed with certain skepticism:
* Epidermal ruddiness of the nape is strongly correlated with authoritarian perceptions of culture and society (American Ethnologist)
* Sparsely inhabited mangrove landscapes are most conducive to disestablismentarian personally identified ideologies (PII) (Political Science and Politics)
* Consumption of baked goods highest in saturated fat found to be distributed evenly along the interstate highway system of the southeastern United States (Journal of the Institute of Nutritional Science)

It is good to be a Gator. I shed no ironic tears in saying this either.